someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Watching her eat just hurts me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize