You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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