we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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