I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
