I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
