Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ugly people sure do ruin things
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
