idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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