So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize