Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
