Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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