I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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