ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize