why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize