so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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