She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
