he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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