I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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