Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
