Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
