They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
