you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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