Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
