Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
