i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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