i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
