kristin has been a bad kristin
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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