Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
