Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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