Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
