He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
