I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
