I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
