What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
