you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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