So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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