tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
