its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
