i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
