So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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