Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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