Plan B is the new Plan A
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
