No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize