I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
