All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I got inside last night via doggy door
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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