my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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