My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize