we have pet lesbian snakes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
