During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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