I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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