The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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