In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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