Just took my morning after pill in the library
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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