trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
