so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
