i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
