Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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