i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
