I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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