One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
