i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
