We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
