He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
