remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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