i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
