I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
